Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

What do you think when you hear that statement?

Does it trigger an immediate response?

“Absolutely. Stop comparing yourself to other people.”

I agree.

Mostly.

But like a lot of popular sayings, I think there’s more to it.

Let’s start in a place I know pretty well: the gym.

I own Everlasting Fitness. We’re a community gym, and one of the things we want every person who walks through our doors to understand is that your workout should be YOUR workout.

If you’re just getting started, compare yourself to no one.

Seriously.

Not the person next to you. Not the fittest person in class. Not the leaderboard.

Not even the person you used to be.

Maybe you played sports in college. Maybe you were in great shape ten years ago. Maybe you used to run five miles without thinking twice about it.

Cool.

That’s not where you’re starting today.

Do the best workout possible for the person you are right now.

Then time passes.

You get stronger. Your conditioning improves. You start adding weight. You start moving faster. You understand your body and what you’re capable of.

Now can pushing yourself against the person next to you make you go a little faster?

Absolutely.

Can watching someone lift five more pounds make you think, Screw it, I’m going for it too?

Hell yes.

Do we encourage that?

For the right person, at the right point in their fitness journey, absolutely.

For everyone?

No way.

So is comparison bad in the gym?

It depends.

That’s also one of the beautiful things about having coaches who actually know you in a tight-knit community. A good coach can tell you when it’s time to push and when it’s time to pull back.

Use them.

That’s what they’re there for.

What About Outside the Gym?

Social media? Forget about it. Never compare your real life to what you see on someone else's social media. You're comparing your behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel and you have no idea what's happening outside the frame.

Career. Business. Money. Family. Faith. Life.

How do you accurately compare yourself to somebody else?

Even if, on paper, it’s an apples-to-apples comparison, it really isn’t.

You’re not the same person.

Different habits. Different responsibilities. Different health. Different relationships. Different goals. Different experiences. Different opportunities. Different problems nobody else knows about.

We’re comparing outcomes while ignoring thousands of variables that created them.

And I’ve realized something else lately.

Comparing yourself to your old self isn’t necessarily much better.

Life changes.

Your body changes.

Your responsibilities change.

Outside influences change.

Your beliefs change.

Your circle changes.

Your priorities change.

So maybe constantly asking whether you’re as good as you used to be isn’t the right question either.

There’s one comparison with myself that I do think is worth making:

Yesterday.

Did I do something today that will make me better than I was yesterday?

That’s it.

Maybe that’s where the whole “1% better every day” idea gets its power.

Not perfect today.

Not better than everybody else.

Not even better than the best version of yourself from ten years ago.

Just move the needle forward.

I’m Starting Over

I’ve taken about five months away from lifting anything really heavy.

I’ve still been moving and training, but I’ve intentionally passed on the heavy stuff.

If you know me, you know that’s a pretty big change.

I love lifting heavy.

That’s the stuff that normally gets me excited to walk into the gym.

But my body needed a break.

There were some things I needed to rehab that I’d been ignoring for too long, so I changed my routine.

And something unexpected happened.

It was actually fun.

I stopped worrying about what I used to lift.

I scaled workouts. Often.

I skipped days when I felt beat up.

I did cardio I would’ve avoided before.

I moved differently.

And after five months, my InBody showed that I’d only lost about three pounds of muscle mass.

Today, I started lifting again.

But I’m coming back with different intentions.

I’m 50 now, so I’ve decided the old record book is closed.

I’m starting a new one.

From here forward, I’m chasing POST50 PRs.

New personal records.

I’m not going to be pissed because I didn’t lift what younger me lifted.

I’m not going to worry about what somebody else lifted that day.

Today I lifted.

Yesterday I didn’t.

WIN.

I want those three pounds of muscle back.

Today I started working toward it.

WIN.

My business needs work.

Today I reached out to people and places that I didn’t yesterday. I had new conversations with clients. I worked on new projects.

WIN.

And I wrote this blog.

Yesterday I didn’t.

WIN.

Maybe comparison really is the thief of joy.

Because if I’m constantly looking sideways at what you’re doing, I’ll miss what’s happening in my own life.

And if I’m constantly looking backward at who I used to be, I might miss who I’m becoming.

So I’m changing the comparison.

Me vs. yesterday.

That’s a competition I can actually do something about.

You don’t have to completely change your life today.

You don’t need to fix everything.

You don’t need to catch up to anybody.

Just ask yourself one question:

What can I do today that makes me a little better than I was yesterday?

Make the call.

Take the walk.

Lift the weight.

Have the conversation.

Read the chapter.

Say the prayer.

Start the project.

Eat the better meal.

Apologize.

Show up.

Whatever your thing is, do one thing today.

Then wake up tomorrow and do it again.

Stop chasing somebody else’s scoreboard.

Stop trying to recreate an old version of yourself.

Build the next one.

One day at a time.

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